PORN

One of the most pressing questions that we get at the store is "Is it OK to look at pornography while I'm in a relationship".

 

It's a complicated issue. From a purely clinical standpoint, studies suggest that those whom have tried to link pornography to ill effects don't have any data to stand on. Those people whom have tried to link pornography and ill effects have forgot the age old mantra, "Correlation does not imply causation". I know it's a hard concept for the religious conservative mindset to grasp.

 

In his study, Milton Diamond concluded, "...we see that objections to erotic materials are often made on the basis of supposed actual, social or moral harm to women. No such cause and effect has been demonstrated with any negative consequence."

 

In another paper, Gert Martin Hald and Neil M. Malamuth found in their 2008 paper titled Self-Perceived Effects of Pornographic Consumption found a positive correlation between the amount of pornography that was viewed and the benefits it reaped. This positive correlation was found for both sexes.

 

Now that doesn't mean that you should run out to Wendover and purchase 20 porns for you and your partner to watch (Although it would be nice). You need to have a frank discussion with your partner. I've met many men & women whom are intimidated by pornogrpahy. Typically, I get questions from women like,

 

Does he want to sleep with her?

 

Does he compare me to her?

 

Does he want to have sex like that?

 

Does he fantasize about her?

 

Should I have sex with him while watching the adult video?

 

In almost all question, I answer a resounding, YES.

 

Most of these women are shocked to hear this. Yes, he's a man and he wants to sleep with that porn star. It's part of the male psyche that when attracted to someone (hence he's turned on) that he wants to pass on his seed.

 

Does he compare me to her? Yes and No. Yes, he's going to compare you to her while watching the porn. After he's had is visual fun, he's not going to think about it much more.

 

Does he want to have sex like a porn start. Absolutely. All men fantasize about having unrealistic sex. Does that mean it's going to happen? Probably not. What women forget is how adult videos are made. There's plenty of Viagra and fluffers on the set to keep that man going like the energizer bunny.

 

You should encourage him to watch the adult videos with you and get kinky. He'll be more likely to not hide his desire to watch pornography. You can change a perceived shady behavior by making it a positive experience for the both of you by making it a Pavlovian experience and rewarding the both of you with a positive experience.

 

If you have any questions about sex, sexuality or relationships, drop us an email.