I really dislike the whole idea of online dating, a lot. The idea of finding someone via a computer dating service in general really doesn’t appeal to me. In particular, sifting through an endless amount of annoying profiles, writing my own annoying profile, and judging people based on photos all seems like an enormous waste of time. I don’t even have the patience for emails from friends (or my boss for that mater), let alone a bunch of men who may or (most likely) may not be the love of my life. It seems so impersonal, unrealistic, and ultimately pointless.

On the other hand, my mother met her current husband on the internet. I quickly realized neither one of them had any clue as they jumped into a relationship. Both of them were fresh out of divorces and I watched their horror of a love story unfold. Facts that you would normally discover about people prior to getting serious slowly eked out well after my mother moved out of state and in with her internet husband.

It was awkward, messy, and not at all what they expected based on emails and phone conversations. However, after two breakups (third time’s the charm), they are together and it only took them seven years to finally get comfortable with each other.

And then, of course, there’s that stereotypical guy. You know, the one who only peruses local profiles and evaluates every one solely based on the picture and size weigh statistics. He tells me he’s confused as to why only ugly women and single moms hang out on EHarmony.com.

I hate to stereotype online daters, but every person I’ve known to be surfing for a relationship has some sort of baggage or defect that would prevent me from going out with them. I’m not talking permanent damage (usually), just little things like a lack of self-esteem, selfishness, depression, excessive weight, all of the above... I see them as people who need to get happy with themselves before trying to build a relationship. 

Maybe that’s why I don’t like it; internet dating seems to be a crutch for people unwilling to look in the mirror. I once went to an online dating service after a friend of mine told me he subscribed to one just to see what he was up to. (He briefly dated a woman who thought it was okay for her 12 year old son to sleep in the same bed with her every night. Just saying...)

The number of recognizable faces shocked me, not to mention the embellishments on their profiles. If online daters are so ready for love, why are they so deceptive? In a study published in Scientific American Mind, approximately 20 percent of online daters admitted to being dishonest. A more telling statistic was that daters found about 90 percent of their dates lied online.

Between the misrepresentation and time spent searching profiles or waiting for matches, less than 25 percent of users of personal sites reported satisfaction with the sites. Despite their perceived ineffectiveness, online dating sites are continuing to draw in more people. Some sites are taking cues from other social networking sites like Facebook and allow users to rate their dates and the accuracy of profiles in an attempt to correct some of the deception.

I went to several websites that claimed to have tips and reviews for people interested in online dating, but most of them seemed like subsidiaries of the dating sites with nothing but good reviews and links to join services. One, onlinedatingmagazine.com, seemed to have more information and varying opinions. If you’re thinking about engaging on an internet dating service, you should definitely read some of the reviews and tips.

For all the negative stories, not every internet dating experience ends in struggle or failure, and I know of one happy ending (at least as of this point in time). A close friend of mine met his wife on his laptop. They spent six months giggling on the phone for hours at a time before she left San Francisco to live with him. It’s been two years and they are the most disgustingly happy couple I’ve ever witnessed and are as giddy in love now as they were online.


Reader reviews http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/onlinedatingreaderreviews.html

J.J. Blair

I hate online dating period by J.J. Blair is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at va-va-voom.net.