After dealing with the incompetent IRS, I have some suggestions for the Bureaucrats on how to run their racket. The suggestions come from my experiences in starting a new business, making sure that I have filled out ALL the red tape required by Federal, State, County and City Bureaucrats.

I have been going to the arduous process of setting up a legal entity through the State of Utah’s governmental Bureaucracy and the Federal Government Bureaucracy. This process is harder than it actually has to be. When setting up our EIN (Employer Identification Number) I received an interesting letter from a IRS Bureaucrat. It can be seen as follows.

Many of you who have been reading my saga with the City of West Wendover, NV know that I hold no love for Bureaucrat of any sort. They are self-serving morons of the fascist government.

On February 6th, 2007 I happened to be at a city council meeting when the enlightened tribe of self-serving Bureaucrats decided to once again change the SOB laws of the City of West Wendover, NV. Remember this is Nevada, not Salt Lake City, Utah. Nevada, where anything goes…I mean anything.

When I inquired as to why they were changing the laws, they lied, and told us that basically they were consolidating a bunch of “bad laws” into one really “bad law”. The truth is, that the Bureaucratic Mayor wanted to impose a “Titty Tax” on the one and only Strip Club in town.

This letter should be published in the High Desert Advocate this week:

Dear High Desert Advocate Readers:

Today, I just got back from a meeting with the city council. They were addressing the fact that now they want to quell freedom of commercial speech by dictating the color of buildings in the town of West Wendover, NV. What a HUGE waste of City time.

It’s always interesting how the City of West Wendover, NV likes to make laws that negatively affect only 1 or two small businesses at a time and summarily pass code that positively effects large conglomerates. They like to address problems that are not really problems in this town to make themselves feel better about their small positions of power. They target City Code to try and remove business that the members of the City Council and City manager want to run out of town (Va Va Voom –formerly Blue Boutique Online and Southern Exposure).

I personally have a libertarian political view. I’m tired of all the Bureaucrats making law after law. Being an Accessory Sexually Oriented Business (Note: We are defined as an SOB ONLY in Wendover, NV and not Salt Lake City, UT), I’m used to following law after law that the spineless bureaucrat and politicians have thrown at us for years. In fact, in the last 6 years they have changed the SOB code in the city 3 separate times to target our business and Southern Exposure.

As Larry Flynt said in the Movie, Larry Flynt vs. The People to his
attorney, “I make the perfect client, I have lots of money and I’m
always in trouble.” These were the exact words that I told my lawyer on
the 28th of August, 2006.

The latest Porndexter saga started out when my wife and myself decided to give our Lingerie and Adult store building an updated look. We were tired of the 20 year old gray/blue stucco finish on our store. You have to understand the building was constructed in 1985 out of a double wide trailer for the post office at the time. I understand that we’re in a desert town in Northern Nevada, but we wanted the pastel look of San Francisco business and houses.

We decided to paint the building and we took off to the local Home Depot to pick out our new color of the building. My wife decided that she wanted a pastel color of the building. So, we picked out a Honeydew color from Berh, as seen below.

Yesterday I was running through my usually sites that I visit (digg.com, reddit.com, Slashdot.com) when I came upon an article on about these “Pro Family” groups who oppose the purchase of the Atlanta Braves by Liberty Media. Liberty Media owns On Command, which sells movies in hotel rooms. These ignorant “Pro Family” groups infuriate me to no end.

Stephen
Adams, Ass. Editor of Focus on the Family's Citizen magazine alluded to
the fact that they didn’t want “Larry Flynt” types owning baseball.
Even though they are currently owned by Time-Warner, who also sells
pornography. He goes on to say that it destroys families. While I think
that this akin to saying that guns kill people… No, Guns don’t kill,
people kill people. People whose lives were “Destroyed” by pornography
have many more problems than just pornography itself.

I really
think that these people who have major problems with the “Pornography
Industry” should really avoid anything and everything that has to do
with pornography, so let’s take a realistic look at what they need to
avoid:

Most cable/satellite carry or distribute some sort of
soft-core pornography. If you have Cinimax (Skinimax) you’re getting
pornography edited for TV. Companies like Direct TV, Time Warner cable
carry the Playboy channel and 10. General Electric owns stock in
various cable and broadcasting stations. So, this means that you can’t
use anything that GE has touched. This means that these people can’t
fly (GE Aircraft Engines), they have to turn off their power (They own
power plants and Nuclear plants) etc. Many of the top 10 media companies
also own Newspapers, Radio Stations, Theme Parks, Internet Companies,
etc. SO people who are concerned about the Pornography industry should
shut themselves completely off from ALL media in the world.

Many
grocery stores a around nation sell Playboy, Hustler and the likes of
those magazines. This means that these right wing types need to stop
eating (Have you been to the mid-west, this might not be a bad idea).
Since your banning anything that is associated with pornography, Many
Fuel stations also sell pornography in their stores. This means, that
you should just get rid of your car if it runs on Gasoline.

Now
I’m giving some simple examples of just how wide pornography’s
distribution is in the United States. I’m tired ignorant
Bible-Thumping-Inbred-Moron’s pushing “Family Values” into everyone
face.

I come from a family that sells pornography and adult
items (My father and mother-law own Blue Boutique in Salt Lake City,
UT). My wife of 11 years and I own Va Va Voom, in West Wendover, NV. I
have a family and I have “Family Vales”.

Wikipedia took the definition of Family Values
as “family values as loving, taking care of and supporting each other,
knowing right from wrong and having good values”. Now, I sell
pornography, adult toys and novelties and I'm pretty damm sure that I
still have family values. If only these Bible-Thumping-Inbred-Moron’s
would realize, that 99.9% of the people around the world, actually have
“Family Values.”

Since we're in a Gambling town, Tuesday's and Wednesday's are typically
slow compared to our weekends. This gives me a chance to read up on
industry news or go over new catalogs. I took the time to wander over
to AVN.com and started to read a really good article about the zoning
issues adult retailers (http://www.adultvideonews.com/cover/cover1205_01.html).

It
got me thinking about the idiots that ran the city when me and my
partners opened the store. The funny thing was is that we really didn't
face opposition by the freaks of the religious right, we had to face
even a more fordable foe: Corrupt Politicians.

See the problem
was with Sheri Lamp. She was in the process of purchasing a video
rental company at the time we decided to open up the business. She had
been working in the business for a few years and when the owners were
ready to sell, she took the opportunity to buy it. Rumor had it that
she was able to make her mortgage payment base on the store's Adult
Video sales. So she got wind that we were moving into the area, she
defiantly didn't want to make it easy for us.

Working with the
city Planner, we found that we could open our store in only a few areas
of town due to the zoning restriction. At the time, we had to be at
least 250 from another Sexually Oriented Business (SOB) Business and we
had to be in a certain zone. Basically it came down to either opening
near the sewage treatment plant or we could be in the city's industrial
zone thanks to ALL the choices this corrupt little town had to offer.

So
we did want any blue blooded American would do, we retained a First
Amendment attorney to help us figure out how to litigate if necessary.
What we found out was the fact that the city had used a boiler plate
law written for them by some religious right foundation hell bent on
shutting down Adult based business. It was vague, poorly written and it
specifically targeted businesses like my own.

What we found was
the fact that the code was SO vague, they didn't consider the two strip
clubs in town as SOB's. So we presented our findings to the city
planner and he finally agreed that we could open up. Once we got his
signature We finally got our business license. This was where the fun
really began.

Sheri Lamp heard about this and went ballistic.
She immediately decided to put us on the agenda with the city council
to decide the legitimacy of our business, just DAYS after we had opened
the door.

Hence we started battling not the crackpot religious
right, but another corrupt politician, using her influence to wield
unjust power. She basically was trying to get the city to resend our
license because we supposedly didn't following the regulations on
opening a SOB business. The truth was, she was shitting bricks because
she knew that we had some marketing clout behind us and she didn't want
to loose her business.